Short Term 12

Thumbs up for the new movie Short Term 12, which depicts life in a placement center for troubled teens. While the audience sees the stories of only a few characters, we do get an authentic window into the effects of abuse on teens and the healing made possible through dedicated foster families and committed staff. 

As in Sandy's case, when children experience abuse, neglect, and poverty on top of the undiagnosed brain damage of FASD ("stack attack"), the effects can be overwhelming. Many of these children don't make it. But as in the movie, we keep on trying.

The night after we saw the film, I dreamed I was going to a train station to take a long trip. For fun (!), I rode my wheelie suitcase down a ramp into the station. As I rolled by the cafe, I saw Sandy, dressed in a neon orange t-shirt, sitting by a stone fireplace, reminiscent of a mountain lodge. Beside her, a small table was set for two, and Sandy sat sipping hot chocolate. She had ordered a ginger beer, open and waiting for me. As I sat down next to her, I floated back to waking consciousness but was  left with the treasured feeling of a loving reunion.

World Alcohol Consumption

Credits: Twisted Sifter

Re-thinking Everything We Have Learned

As part of the on-going telesummit on FASD social worker and parent Dan Dubovski, shares ideas about how best to support FASD-affected children. I wish information like this had been available when Sandy was growing up. Instead, we tried to follow normal therapy recommendations with a child affected by FASD--with disastrous results.

Traditional therapies assume clients understand cause and effect, that their executive functioning is intact. The traditional goal is independence. This is usually not possible for people with the brain damage of FASD. 

Instead, we can help them be successful through positive reinforcement and confidence-building. Teach them through role-playing, mentoring, and the modeling of positive peers. Break tasks down to tiny parts, so they can practice. We shelter them within a strong framework. Most of all, we communicate their intrinsic value as human beings. 

There is much hope for people with FASD.

I wish we had understood Sandy’s condition earlier. Now, I would never press charges against her. I would never allow a situation where she was surrounded by troubled youth. I focus intensively on helping her develop useful skills and talents within a super positive support system.

The presentations of the telesummit are full of useful and important ideas. Thanks to everyone making the world more supportive for those affected by FASD.

Living with FASD Tele-Seminar

The Minnesota Organization of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome will be presenting an FASD Teleseminar starting Monday, September 9, 2013 through September 20, with two sessions per day and a window of 48 hours in which to view them. 

In the spirit of appreciating humor in the midst of tragedy, the sponsoring website includes wonderful quotes from children with FASD, including: 

After I told my daughter, “Keep your eyes peeled,” while we were driving to look for an address, she answered, “Mom, that would hurt!”

Oh, so familiar!

FASD Awareness Month

This September, Fetal Alcohol Awareness month, marks the fortieth anniversary of the discovery of FAS by Doctors Kenneth Lyon Jones and David Smith. Still a leading researcher on the subject, Dr. Jones laments the continued use of alcohol by pregnant women in this article and video.

FASD Activists

Pictured above is John Kellerman. Now grown, he wrote an article (link below) that beautifully sums up his life as an FASD-affected child. His adoptive mother, Teresa Kellerman started the website http://www.come-over.to/ to provide information for other parents, since very little was available at the time.

Right after Sandy’s death, an on-line support group of FASD parents contacted us. The first note in the chain was from Teresa Kellerman, who sent out the alert after coming across Sandy’s obituary.

At the time we were barely coherent but very grateful for the contact with others who understood.

Teresa Kellerman remains one of my great heroes. Her son now joins her in presentations on FASD awareness.

John Kellerman’s article: http://www.fasarizona.com/ihavefas.htm

Teresa’s journey: http://come-over.to/FAS/news/citizen2008a.htm

False Confessions

Prize-winning research by Kaitlyn McLachlan, above, found that 43% of youths affected by FASD in the Canadian criminal justice system gave false confessions under the mistaken belief that they would be released more quickly or to protect a friend.

I thought of Sandy not realizing that after age eighteen her crimes would go on her permanent record. “They will?” she asked, genuinely shocked.

Sandy would also do anything to protect her friends. At age thirteen she lied to her boyfriend’s mother, denying their first sexual encounter. “He told her it never happened,” she said, “so I changed my story.” Hearing this broke my heart.

Young people with the brain damage of FASD need significant support to navigate the legal system, as well as to navigate life.

http://www.sfu.ca/sfunews/stories/2012/fasd-youths-give-false-confessions.html